An enticing name is always going to be helpful when marketing and selling a video game. It’s a fundamental part of production that may partially or fully point out what a game is about. For example, if it has “dead” in the title, it’sprobably about zombies, and any mention of “war”, “duty”, and “army” is likely going to be about the military in some way or another.
Not all developers do this deliberately, however. Some relatively obscure, unknown games out there have utterly ridiculous or quirky names. No matter how barmy they may sound, it’s not always a reflection of the quality of the title itself, be it a retro title from decades ago, or one that has been swept among many others distributed via digital retailers. There are exceptions to that rule, though!
6Wholesome Slaughter
Cute Stuff Must Die
It’s not a new trope in the slightest, where adorable animals and other sorts of cute things that one would expect to find in a toddler’s cartoon meets blood, gore, and serious firepower.Wholesome Slaughteris but one such title that is all about those juxtaposing themes, and, for a budget title, delivers an entertaining enough experience.
After a brief tutorial, the player is handed a weapon and is encouraged to kill their new companion and take on rolling pandas, aggressive teddy bears, buff unicorns, and more. Outside the usual entourage of guns are quirky inclusions, likeHoly Hand Grenades. Even the final boss is goofy, being a towering Fairy Godmother who has likely been weightlifting before this final encounter. Fans of primitive titles likeWolfenstein 3Dmay enjoy such a title since its levels offer more varied set pieces in comparison.
5Super Kinky
Too Lewd For Steam
“Serious Sammeets +18 themes” is the easiest way to describeSuper Kinky. It doesn’t help that it was taken off of the Steam storefront after Valve’s change in policy on sexual content, which forbade real-life nude models in the game’s collectible magazines.
The title itself isn’t anything deep (no puns or childish innuendos intended), though it definitely has a pick-up-and-play sort of feel to it. As a rather raunchy warrior in Hell, the objective is to fend off skeletons and monsters for as long as possible before inevitably succumbing to their attacks, or the many numerous traps strewn across the map. Guns, pick-ups, and ammo are strewn across levels, but there’s always thephallic-shaped melee weaponto rely on in a pinch.
4POOSTALL ROYALE
Fan-Made, Low-Budget, Top-Down Shooting Action
A brand new top-down shooter was released by Running With Scissors’ “C Team” (a reference toPOSTAL 4and an in-game developer’s low-budget side-team) in 2023, which turned out to be a cheeky April Fools' joke.POOSTALL ROYALEwas actuallyworked on by a bunch of dedicated fanson a nonexistent budget.
Considering how this top-down shooter was made in the space of a few months, it’s not bad in the slightest and is like a self-aware spiritual successor to the fabulousPOSTAL Redux. It drops the dark tones and embraces the wacky humor that other entries in the series specialize in. After exiting from a toilet stall (now everyone knows where the game got its name from) as either the Postal Dude or the new-and-original Postal Doe, the goal is as simple as fending off waves of angry lunatics for as long as possible. It’s not surprising that it received little to no coverage by news outlets, but there’s no arguing with the fact that this mindlessly fun spin-off is free.
Kiss Under The Missle-Toe
Santa Slayerwas released for free online to relative obscurity. It’s funny, as Digital Dialect often specialized in ports of PlayStation-to-PC titles likeMetal Gear SolidandOddworld: Abe’s Exoddus, along with original titles like the first-person shooterAdrenix, which was released in 1998. So, this free title may have been a festive prototype of sorts.
Santa Slayeris a six-degrees-of-movement title that has players pilot the Jolly Man’s sleigh and fire missiles at his armed elves around his workshop, akin to games likeDescent. It’s a peculiar title, as it utilizes assets fromDuke Nukem 3D, and Santa’s revolvers take up most of the screen space despite not being usable. Nothing happens when everyone is defeated, and there is no ending. There’s even a multiplayer mode, though there’s no chance of finding anyone playing it these days.
2How To Be A Complete Bastard
Be A Nuisance For Points
There is no dodging a title likeHow To Be A Complete Bastard, is there? It was based on the book of the same name by British comedian and actor Ade Edmondson and was developed for platforms like the ZX Spectrum andCommodore 64 in the late eighties solely for the UK market. Eventually, it was re-released as a budget title, garnering lukewarm reviews.
The goal in this title is to be a massive nuisance around the house in order to score big. This can involve eating condoms, throwing toilet rolls, putting glue on a toilet seat, stabbing people with pens, and so on. Only two items can be carried at a time, and it will take a fair bit of time to figure out what things can be done to cause havoc. One can eventurn themselves into an oven after opening up an umbrellaand then farting (there’s a “Wee-O-Meter” and a “Fart-O-Meter”) to blow up the house.
1Don’t Buy This: 5 Of The Worst Games Ever
Infamously reviewed online by video game historian Larry Bundy Jr.,Don’t Buy This: 5 Of The Worst Games Everis a fine example ofdry jokes and ironic humorin the form of an eighties video game. Publisher Firebird compiled five titles onto one cartridge for roughly 50p (roughly £1.50 in 2024). Funnily enough, it apparently sold very well at the time, even though the publishers deliberately lambasted it on release and even encouraged people to make copies!
There’s a racing game, a slot machine simulator, two side-scrollers involving a dog slapping moles with its tail or zapping with eye-lasers, and aSnakeclone. They are all sluggish and repetitive titles that get old very quickly, though each of them is far from ‘the worst’. There’s no doubting the power of reverse psychology that went on here, though.
